Christmas Lights

This year, our Christmas tree lights have been on more often than ever before. We’ve always turned our Christmas tree on whenever we were home and this year we’ve been home a lot. This is the first year that we haven’t traveled during Christmas week. This is the first year we haven’t seen family during Christmas week.

I feared that it would be overwhelmingly lonely when we made the plans to stay home and stay safe. I feared it would be dark and grief-filled. I feared it wouldn’t “feel” like Christmas.

Thankfully, these fears have not been true. Instead, I have felt peace and wonder watching our two youngest as they play and imagine having time to create Lego worlds, color and read books together. I have felt joy as I watched them anticipate and celebrate receiving presents and opening them via Facetime. I have felt love as they have delivered Christmas goodies and spread light to neighbors and friends.

More than anything, I have felt hope that this year we have found something true and lasting, something that perhaps we were too busy to find in years past.

Today and tomorrow as we watch and wait for the Divine to come, our Christmas lights will be on.