Toddling Grief

Today marks two years living

without you here living among us.

Like a toddler,

my grief rides a roller coaster of emotions –

The pure delight of memories filled with fun and celebration.

The intense anger at how unfair it is to have to put on shoes and go on as if life continues.

The sincere gratitude for your loving, listening presence.

The deep sadness that you won’t get to see your 20th grandchild smile and cackle.

I don’t know what this grief will teach me as it gets older.

Today, this toddling grief reminds me

living without someone you live IS unfair.

And rather than run from that truth,

sometimes you just need to let those emotions roller coaster within you

so that you don’t miss finding the cosmic connection

whispering of the Divine and the hereafter

that brings a quarter to your path

at just the right time.