As I sat around the table with other women in ministry sharing stories about pregnant ministry, I realized being in my first trimester during Lent and Holy Week weren’t nearly as tough as some of my colleagues. It was comforting to hear the stories and their dedication to their call to serve others even in the midst of a growing family.
Whether you are a male of female minister, something I have realized in the midst of this new phase of life for me is that ministers, preachers, and pastors are always looked to with expectancy. Week after week and in the midst of crisis we are the people that others turn to for hope and guidance. They are asking for us to look ahead maybe not to birth, but to new life or fresh start.
For me, I know that I was called to parish ministry. I know that this is what I was created to do and I know, as I have had conversations with my congregation and other people I minister to, that to minister to a congregation and to guide people as they try to understand and work out what their lives are meant for is what I was created to do. But I have to be honest. There are a lot of times when I don’t want to be called. There are a lot of times when being called on week after week to deliver a word from God, to offer guidance to people in their individual lives, and to challenge a community of faith to consider what God has called them to do and who God has called them to be is not what I would chose. If I’m honest, going back into the classroom and teaching would be much easier, but I can’t. Because if I did, I would be denying a very part of who I am and who I was created to be.
This has never been more real to me than now as I am caring for a growing child and trying to eat the things I am supposed to eat and not eat the things I am not supposed to eat and drink enough water and get enough exercise. There are days when it is exhausting not only to remember all these things because you are not only concerned about your own health and safety, but the health and safety of someone else. When you give up your own life for the sake of another whether that is for a child or a congregation, you are expecting to be the presence of God in their lives.
It’s a scary, sacred journey.
May the Lord bless all of you who are called on with expectancy to be the presence of God and to deliver a word from God in the hardest and most important moments of life.