For years I had kept hoping that intimacy with God would blossom as soon as I got everything done, got everyone settled, got my environment just right and my calendar cleared. I counted on it to come as a reward for how hard I had worked, or at least as the built in consequence of a life of service, but even when I managed to meet all my conditions for a day or two, I was so exhausted from the effort that I could not keep my eyes open.
I love the honesty that Barbara Brown Taylor shares here. Ministers are just as scared as anyone else to be alone with God.